Regrets, I've had a few, but then again...

Too few to mention, right? Amiright?! This post has been a loong loooong time coming. It's almost not worth spending time on. And yet, it struck me today that Kyle and I are slowly approaching our one year anniversary and this is not a post I would reserve for a one year anniversary post, so I decided to make it an almost one year anniversary post.

Moreover, I've had a lot of time to think, to talk to other brides, to discuss stuff with my photographer, who we still keep in touch with (Remember?! He just had a baby!!!). I cleared out my Google reader today and unsubscribed to a few of the wedding blogs that I was STILL READING and not surprisingly, I'm getting a little tired of wasting time on wedding blogs.

What? Oh you're not surprised either? Oh, you're surprised it took me this long?

Well the answer, my friends, to why it's taken me this long to let go is... Regret.

Finally not looking at wedding dresses any longer has made me realize I'm letting go of it, and talking candidly with my photographer has made me realize I'm letting go of it, and all that made me realize I could finally post about it.

Instead of being even more long-winded, here are my reflections in pictures (all courtesy of Ben Weldon):

Ohhhh if only I could go back and not let that crazy-slow chick touch my face!!! Although I've let it go... mostly, one of my biggest regrets is not doing my own makeup. Not only would I have appreciated the shots better; my funny makeup faces, my huge brushes, but she took about 45 minutes to do my makeup! It ate up half of my getting-ready time!! As a result, eeeeeeeeverything after that was rushed and I wasn't able to get a lot of the other shots that I wanted to get.

 

The left picture is me RUSHING through opening Kyle's gift to me, which was a really really nice strand of pearls that I would have liked to have had more than one picture of... with Mia doing God knows what in the background... And on the right is one of only three pictures "bridal shoot" style that Ben squeezed in before we had to go to the ceremony. Side note: all the while, I thought to myself... ummm, good thing we weren't planning on a first look, I barely had time to get ready myself!

This left us time for one shot of wine that I didn't even taste. And that face that suggests I'm not enjoying this? That's because I know that I didn't get any shots with my girls, I didn't get any shots on the balcony, I didn't get but a couple sexy shots of myself... all because of that stupid makeup chick taking 45 minutes on my makeup!! Oh, and remember how Kyle got to have plenty of sexy glamour shots by himself because he didn't waste 45 minutes on his makeup?!

I'm not bitter anymore though because he's so damn handsome and everyone always wants to see the bride and here he got his own couple moments. Go grooms!!

I had planned on another walk-through of the reception space because I had left other people to set it up and... you know me. It wasn't till after the ceremony I realized how stark our cake table looked and how the banner wasn't placed right. Silly little thing to be angry about right?! Of course!! THE POINT IS if I had done my own makeup it would have taken me 15 minutes max with another half hour to check on the setup of the reception space and say "Oh hey, could you put some moss around the cake stand?" and "Oh hey, the banner is supposed to be stacked so you can actually read 'Love Is Sweet' not wrapped around the table so it looks like one bizarre word."

Again, you and everyone else might say I'm being a bit too bitter, but like I said, it would have taken five minutes for me to look at this and fix it, but I didn't have five minutes to spare anywhere.

Moving on!!

Can you guess what I hate about this picture?? I'll tell you, it's those stupid pavilion plastic flaps!! I was so mad that I couldn't get those to come up. The venue had a very strict rule that the flaps go down if it's below 65 degrees out and do ya' wanna' know what the high that day was?? Sixty-frickin'-three!! Two degrees separated me from a gorgeous, rustling breeze and natural sunlight. Let me just say I was more than comfortable in my strapless gown and I know for a fact that Kyle was sweating profusely AND had plastic-warped sunlight hitting him in the face. I KNOW there is nothing I can do about it and I need to let it go, but if there is one other thing I'm still having trouble getting over it's Riverdale Manor and their intransigent staff. EVERYONE WAS HOT!! IT WAS GORGEOUS OUTSIDE!!! But hey, they got an extra $250 out of me for having to run the heater because it's an automatic charge if it's below 65 degrees. Gotta' love those Riverdale coordinators!

Oh yeah... no one even knew these were here. I had meant to tell my parents, his parents, our grandparents, my girls and guys to blow bubbles when the ceremony was over so everyone else would follow suit, but I forgot, so no one blew bubbles, and so we had no send off, we had no bubbles... just a small regret, more funny than angering; the bubbles were just completely forgotten! Sorry bubbles!

Another small, really small regret: Ben suggested we do formals after portraits; we had better chance of catching the light for the money shots- me and the man- and then we would do family formal shots right after. Well no thank you, I said, I will not be the one in charge of trying to find everyone at the cocktail hour after Kyle and I get done with our portraits. Everyone was there, so I thought, no, we should just get this done and over with. Lo and Behold, I find out only after the pictures come in, that all the magical sunset light was used up on the family formals. Ben said there was no way to know because of the tree line, but there it is, that beautiful burst of light. Not that it was gone to waste! But it would have been better placed here:

 Or here:

 Or somewhere here or here:

 

These shots still make me swoon, and I can't praise Ben's handy work enough, they just would have been that much more amazing with amazing sunlight. Anyway, not at all angry, just moving right along.

I have almost completely let go of my dress drama! Whoo hoo!! I still never had THAT MOMENT every bride thinks she needs to have found the one, but this dress was awesome. There, I said it. So why am I even bringing it up??

I had to buy three dresses to find 'the one' ya'll! And I still can't get rid of the third (Priscilla of Boston), so I'm still super mega pissed I wasted my money on it! Second, I still wish I had been bold enough to throw some ombre in there somewhere; I said I was going to get a blush underskirt (off-white dress, blush underskirt, plum shoes... ombre!) or a nice deep burgundy sash to go across the middle, and I never did, and to this day, the whole ensemble is just a little too white for my liking. Once again, not a huge deal, just being real.

Finally, third, it. still. didn't. fit!! I was too worried about being thought a bitch to press the seamstress to pull it in more. I had a good inch around my waist that it could have been taken in, and I selfishly thought that I could have looked a little slimmer if it had fit me properly. I was kind of opposed to corset tops and was happy initially that this one was a zipper gown, but when it came to fit, if I could go back, a corset top would have made sure it fit no matter how poorly the seamstress listened to me. Yet another small thing that I should never have been bitter about at all, but hello, you're lying if you tell me you don't want to look sexy on your wedding day when you picked a relatively fitted gown!

Anyway, I never meant to be this long-winded about any of these things and here I am, super-justifying everything! You can tell who I'm really trying to convince ;) Just a few more things, promise!!

 

These shots are the only ones that captured some of the stuff (junk?) that I collected to get the whole primitive (that's Amish speak) feel in our venue. Anyone who's been following knows how much I love stacked crates, and I collected quite a few to decorate the reception area, and I have no photos of them. The other pictures is the only shot that captures any of the pitchers I collected and that my Mama lovingly stuffed with wheat stalks. Did you know that those bowls had river rocks and flowers and candles floating in them? Neither will anyone else, because there's no picture of them besides this one. Remember how I also made chair ribbons for the bride and groom's chairs that match the altar? No? That's because there's no picture of them. Now, as I've said, I've talked candidly with my photographer about these things. He made fun of me at the time for having such a long list of photos I wanted taken and that made me feel embarrassed that I was being a bridezilla. When he finally had a bride who had a longer list than me, I was finally able to admit to him that if I had not felt so self-conscious, he would have gotten a much longer list :)

And hey, if it hadn't taken 45 minutes to do my makeup, then I would have had him follow me around the reception area before the ceremony and said "Oh, and take pictures of this, and this, and that over there!" Stupid slow makeup chick!

There's no hard feelings between Ben and me though, especially given the other simply amazing detail shots that he captured:

 

 

 
Sigh. He gave me more than I could have asked for, and in the end, life is way too short to dwell on little missed opportunities. I still have all the crates and wine bottles and I'm in the process of decorating my house with them! Because it's like living in my wedding fantasy world everyday!! This weekend I should have time to do some arranging, look out for pictures then!

Last beef (and another fabulous detail shot from Ben):

I thought I had been very clear with my florist that I wanted a bouquet with less structure, more whimsy. And I knew she was capable of such; we talked about how we both were not a fan of the "lollipop" bouquet. Here's some shots from her own portfolio:

 

 

So, you see? I knew she was capable of astonishing things and this is why I picked her! I showed her her own photos and said (while trying not to drool) 'yeah yeah, like this!!'

Did she still make beautiful bouquets?? Absolutely! Were they as cool and out there as I had hoped for? No, sorry, they were one step away from lollipop. Am I being nit-picky? Quite possibly!! But hey, that's what this whole post is about, it's been almost a year and I'm letting go of all these little hurt feelings and it feels good, but I still acknowledge that not everything was perfect. Not everything is going to be perfect.

To close, let me emphasize the most important point. The MARRIAGE is perfect, and that's all that really counts, the WEDDING was just a day, and it was still pretty freaking awesome. And let's not forget the end result currently kicking me in the bladder right now and giving me mild indigestion, that's totally awesome (not the indigestion).

So for the sake of the blog, these are my thoughts on what was not perfect, but for the sake of my life and your life and every other happily married woman, this is NOT to be confused with 'oh, well there must be something deeper that's wrong' because that's malarkey! Pure MALARKEY!! Don't not let yourself be a little upset about things that didn't go quite as planned. I am fully aware that relationships take work and raising kids takes work and life takes work, but I plan a party for that party to be perfect, thankyouverymuch! For everyone who's ever heard me talk about the things I regret, and judged me or rolled their eyes, this is my soap box, I no longer feel bad about being a little bitter. Take that.

Dude!!

I just got an e-mail from my photog who said that not only is he submitting our wedding to Philadelphia Magazine (I'm gonna' buy a million copies!), but he also got wind that our wedding would be posted on a blog. Now, I already told you that The Knotty Bride is, at some point... eventually... I'm sure she's going to post our wedding, but he said 'no, this was some other blog.' So I went there this morning and sure enough, THERE IT WAS! Pretty crazy no??

Shut up, Ryan! It was a very unexpected surprise. Now, I have no idea how they got wind of it and that weirds me out a bit, but it's cool, nonetheless. I just hope it gets Ben some cred.

After attending our wedding, our DJ's wife, my awesome friend Julie, told her friend who is getting married soon how awesome he was and Julie's friend booked him! I joked with Ben that I got him the business and he said now he expects a certain number of clients from me every year (I think it was seven :)). That's why I cannot wait for the TKB post! Because she has a much wider audience, mostly in the Midatlantic area.

Speaking of Philly, I walked home from work yesterday and got inspired to take some pictures of the things I'll miss most about Southwest Philly when we move out of the city. I wanted to share them with you:

I'd love to know what this used to be, it's obviously been abandoned for quite some time and is hiding under an abandoned building. I love it.

My camera, auto-focusing.

This is just a different angle, there's a whole huge machine under here. No idea what it was or why it's still just taking up space down there.

Isn't this a fabulous backdrop?! I know it's not some people's cup o' tea, but I think it's gritty and fantastic.

This is my favorite building in the whole city. This building is why I originally wanted a warehouse wedding (but I would never have been able to find one that was suitable or not condemned and I knew Kyle would never go for it and it was just going to be logistically impossible... so I never even blogged about it. Kyle and I aren't badass enough anyway, well, maybe he is, but I'd never be able to fake it for a whole day.)

This 'structure' is part of the Crescent Iron Works factory. The company is still functional but not this part of it. My favorite thing about Southwest Philly is they're masters of having functioning businesses right next to abandoned, broken down... things. The above image, the abandoned building with the ivy growing all over it; that building is right next to the place where they keep the garbage trucks. Like, literally in the same lot. It's like they just let that old abandoned warehouse sit there in their parking lot like an old beat up pick-up truck on blocks.

Here's another example. I have no idea if this building gets used. I never see anyone in it, it looks like it's in a pretty advanced state of disrepair... who knows?! It's cool looking though.

So my favorite favorite spot in all Southwest Philly was recently finally cleared and cleaned up before I got the brilliant idea to photograph it, so, that was a huge shame. It was this horrible broken down brick structure with all different types and colors of graffiti all over it. Between the trash and the big chunks of building littering the structure, it was a mother's nightmare, which is probably why they finally took it down, but I loved looking at it.

(Sorry, I could not help myself!) Oh well. Hopefully these other random awesome structures will be around for weirdos like me to continue appreciating.

I think I came to a decision too as to what this blog will continue to be now that the wedding is over. You all know that DIY was a huge part of the wedding and so DIY will continue to be a recurring theme now that we're moving into our very own home. So if it's your thing, you can look forward to all the projects I keep wanting to steal off Design*Sponge ;) I guess you can classify that as lifestyle, because I'm sure I'll also be posting recipes stolen from Smitten Kitchen and hopefully one day baby ideas off whatever blogs talk about babies. I've been spending [way too much] time on Pinteret so I'm sure it will be a whole lot o' Pinteresting stuff. Thanks for stickin' around!

Inspiration vs. Reality, part V

Well, here we are, the last segment of our inspiration versus reality inspiration boards...


:(


I saved what I assume is the best for last; me and the man.

I pictured a very editorial feel, but I also recognize that we're not snobby Vogue or Harper's Bazaar models. So I think we ended up with something that had a cool, sort of dramatic flair to it, but that doesn't feel fake.

INSPIRATION!

I've already mentioned... probably a few times... how sad I am that we never made it out onto the balcony. That was kind of a big deal for me, but obviously not the end of the world. Chalk that up to 'there is bound to be something that didn't go perfect.' If that's all I have to complain about, I think I'm in good shape.

Oh, also, I never did get the whole party together for a Vanity Fair-esque shot, but when it came down to it, when the whole bridal party was together, we were all too goofy with each other to do anything that serious. Not too sad about that, it would have been cool, but sometime in my life, for some other event, I will make this happen. It's not over for me!

Anyway, so this is the reality we made of it:

There we are. My sweetie's very photogenic! I'm in love with our photos, our whole day, our photographer, all of it!! Anyone else want me to plan their wedding?? I'm gettin' bored ;) (just kidding, I have lots of work to do, that's why I've been completely absent from the blogosphere for the past few days... I had over 300 Google reader items to go through this morning!)

Anyway, lastly, I've had so much fun with inspiration boards that I think that when we move into the new house, I'm definitely going to go the multi-picture frames to display our wedding photos in our house (and eventually family photos). I just love the multi-picture frames in general:

 

I love the modern idea, but when I saw the rustic one I loved that too... ohhhh decisions!

I think the best part of this idea is that I could make these myself by connecting several frames... a much less expensive idea. I was amazed at how much these things cost.

I also mention it because it's made it much easier to decide which images are most important for albums, etc... When I focused on one theme; the details or the ceremony or the portraits, and forced myself to only pick out the top ones, it was less overwhelming-one theme at a time.

So instead of ordering 500 pictures and loving every single one but not having anywhere to put them all, I've picked out the top top priority pictures and now I know which will go in albums. I can finally start on albums! Let's not get too far ahead of ourselves though; we still have to finish thank you notes, WHICH HAVE BEEN STARTED! thank you, but are nowhere near done. So much for that taking one weekend :(((

So, let me know what you think of our final inspiration board. Let me know how you felt about your wedding photography after a few months. AND pleeeease let me know what you did to display your wedding photos!

Inspiration vs. Reality, part IV

OK, so where are you? (movie reference anyone??) Some motel room. (there, I gave you some more) Maybe I'll get another freaky tattoo to remind myself... anyone??

But seriously, my head is in a billion places right now, and looking over wedding pictures is how I calm the storm. That's my excuse and I'm stickin' to it! My paper for work is almost done. Once the paper is done, I get to start writing my thesis and defend. I've got five months, I should be done in four :) I don't have a huge amount of confidence in my writing skills so I'm always scared when I write something that it's going to be total rubbish. So while publishing this paper and officially getting the OK to start the final countdown is an awesome prospect, the fear of failure is stressful.

I got my first 'job offer' yesterday. I call it job offer but put it in quotes because it doesn't work the same way in science, you e-mail a prospective professor, and if they say 'Yeah, let's meet and talk' you're in the position of leverage. That doesn't mean you have the job BUT you'd have to really mess up at this point. If I can keep it together, Kyle and I will both be in great positions, both of us having good jobs, both working only ten miles from our new home! It's pretty intense... and stressful.

The home inspection is today. It's when we find out if there's some massive structural problem that we don't know about. This is highly unlikely because the house isn't that old, has little to no damage, and looked and felt great. BUT you never know of course. And there is a slightly higher possibility of there being something not massive but still expensive wrong with the house, and if the current homeowners don't agree to fix it, and we can't afford to fix it, then we're at an impasse, and the whole deal might fall through. Again, highly unlikely, all this, but still... stressful.

So there's a little look at why I'd rather be looking at wedding pictures. Ha, actually even that's kind of stressful because the man and I swore we are going to do thank you notes this weekend. Not really the most exciting of Saturday activities. ANYWAY, I'm almost done with inspiration boards. I'm slowly starting to shift my Pinterest use from wedding photos to kitchen and bathroom photos, but NOT TOTALLY! Still subscribed to a few of my favorite wedding blogs. So, without further ado, styling inspiration:

Succulents, fiddle heads, feathers, big hair flowers, big hair... yup, that sums it up! So there's no need to beat around the bush, here's out inspiration-turned-reality board; stylin'!

In love = me! I knitted my own shawl, made those hair flowers and the hangers, my Mama made my garter, the florist did a FANTASTIC job on the flowers, and Ben captured it all! Oh, and I am so glad I wore flats, so so glad; every muscle in my body ached the day after the wedding from all the dancing, but not my feet! The only thing I wish was that we had more time for portraits of me and the girls before the ceremony, but that was no one's fault but time; that fickle mistress... bitch...

Anyway, what do you think?! Thanks for the comments so far, I really enjoy these inspiration boards, and I hope you all do too!

Inspiration vs. Reality, part III

In continuation of my excuse to relive my wedding over and over again, I bring you another inspiration board and accompanying inspiration-turned-reality board. I'm super excited about this one because it's decor details, table settings, DIY stuff. I had a lot of fun with most of the projects and Ben did a fantastic job capturing them. Basically I'm as excited about this board as I was for the details post!

As I went through, I was sad for a few seconds here and there, there's no picture of our chair ribbons, no pictures of all those crates and extra wine bottles we collected (the ones not at the alter or on guest tables) BUT, and it's a big BUT, I was happy again when I continued perusing our pictures and seeing the overcompensation in other areas. You'll see, hopefully, too. I've certainly let go of any hang-ups I have about what might not have been captured. I am such a control freak, it's unhealthy.

Inspiration boards are healthier:

Ohhhh how exciting! I look back at these pictures and I see inspiration that I had started to gather almost two years ago!

Moment of truth, if the above is sort of how I saw the wedding looking and feeling, then did I get it right???

Nailed it!! Now obviously, the inspiration photos are from multiple sources, so this statement is going to seem really obvious, but the reality board is much more cohesive and carries a theme. I could look at the centerpiece photos for days.

I think it's safe to say I'm having way too much fun with the inspiration boards. Only a few left, then I'm going to have to find something new to blog about :( Well, we'll tackle that obstacle when we get there.

So let me know what you think!!

Inspiration vs. Reality, part II

Continuing on in our quest to waste more time at work, I bring you the second inspiration-turned-reality board from our wedding. I next tackled details, like paper and some DIY. Without further ado:

INSPIRATION!

and REALITY!!

I do wish we had a few more detail photos or more close-ups (some of these are crops), but I think I am also probably missing a few, and I am in love with the ones that we do have, so I'm not complaining.

The next one is going to be exciting because it's all decor, so, yay! Everyone have an awesome day!