Interwebs good again!

I hope everyone had a marvelous Easter! I just wanted to take a minute out to let everyone in on a pretty fantastic deal going on right now at Easy Canvas Prints:

Just in case there was a question, this is a phenomenal deal! Just in case you need an idea of how big an 18x24 print is... it's big. I thought 16x20 was only kinda' big and when my first prints started coming in the mail (the ones I talked about a few weeks ago), I was kind of overwhelmed at how huge they were. And now these guys are giving away 18x24s and 8x10s for $50 PLUS free shipping... that's kinda' gigantic! And by gigantic I mean a savings of $100 gigantic! Get it?? As in 66.667% OFF!! OK, just making sure we're clear.

I almost doubled the deal, but I decided that it would be a little overboard. Before we've even moved into our first real home, we'll have SIX hung portraits... that maybe just might be enough for now. Shutterfly was running one of their awesome '101 free prints for no reason!' deals yesterday so I got more small photos for hanging in multi-picture frames. I don't quite know how these people can just give stuff away, but I am not complainin'! I'll take a picture soon as they come in! And I gotta' start shopping for multi-picture frames!

This actually brings up something that just happened this past weekend. Kyle and I linked our bank accounts! This might seem like nothing for some people but it's kind of a big deal for me, because I always find myself feeling very sheepish about how much money I have left in my bank account at the end of the month or how much is in my savings account. Now Kyle can see it. So there's no more "What do you mean you're out of money?" or "How much is really in your savings account?" Now he can see it. I'm not at all saying that I'm one of those people who lies about money, but I think I might have a tendency towards stretching the truth because I'm always kind of embarrassed when I make frivolous purchases or don't budget well. That kind of thing makes me want to fudge the numbers a little when my spouse asks me why I had to put groceries on a credit card (I don't! I'm just saying, I want to). 'They' say some crazy percentage of marriages break up because of money issues. I would never forgive myself if it was my fault. Some might look at this merger as a potential issue while I look at it as a blessing, because I'm the horrible type of person that doesn't have much drive to do certain things correctly until someone's standing over them with a stern look on their face... Shameful I know, but I'm not too good at saving money and Kyle is a-mazing at it.

All I have to say is why save $50 when you could save $100 on an 18x24 and an 8x10 canvas print instead?!?! No more, I promise, baby!

Meanwhile, I've got a conference in California in a week and a half and my interview in a week! So I gotta' get back to work!!

Was linking bank accounts an adjustment for anyone else one way or the other? How did it go??

Interwebs. Interwebs good...

I've been trying to describe or express how excited I have become about today's technological advances in the way of picture stuff as it pertains to online stuff. Obviously, eloquence is not my forte, what I'm trying to say though is that whatever I'm trying to say is applicable to post-wedding:

Do any of the younger generation brides remember hearing their parents talk about how expensive thank you notes (I guess only if you do professional calligraphy or something like that) and photo albums and large prints are?

I personally remember dreading post wedding because of these unexpected costs; unexpected because you already spent so much on the wedding, right? I need to fork out more money?? And a lot, at that?! No thanks. Can someone make this easier for me please?

Enter The Internet. We are a lucky generation to have access to all the internet deals that we do, all the weird programs that randomly give you half off deals for NO REASON! All the random websites that give you free stuff just for writing reviews or some other easy dumb thing. The random awesome websites that just give away free stuff for NO REASON just because they were feeling charitable that day. I have to thank a few faceless weirdos-- I mean heroes:

For the best free stuff just for writing reviews: WeddingWire
For the most amazing $100 off deal for wrapped canvas prints: LivingSocial
For amazing wrapped canvas prints: EasyCanvasPrints and fabness
For the best randomness like free pictures for Leap Day and free labels for 'Hey, it's the end of January' day and a free photobook for 'Hey, it's the first day of Spring!' day: SHUTTERFLY!

Are you following me?? I wouldn't be able to do what I've been able to do without these completely random but unquestionably awesome deals and steals. I was able to get Thank You notes from Shutterfly at a great price because they were running a completely random $30 off deal so Thank You notes only cost about $70 or something like that. Wanna' see?

Please excuse all the crap on my coffee table. I am aware of how distracting it is. So, as you can see, we couldn't decide, then I realized we didn't have to, what's wrong with having two designs?? Nothing! So we do. In this same order, I believe I also got free shipping because it was over $30 AND they were also giving away 50 free pictures. So I also got pictures to include for grandparents, etc... So now I'm just feeling guilty that we haven't finished them yet. To be honest, I realized early on that there are a couple gifts that never came with names and so I've been dreading writing thank you notes ever since then :)

Seems silly doesn't it? It is, but then also house hunting has taken up a lot, a lot of time too. Anyway, then as I mentioned above, we also got a couple prints for super cheap and one for free, and one was included in our photography package. Wanna' see the grand total?

Again, sorry for the coffee table clutter, and for the little puppy butt on the left side. Trust me when I say that it's disconcerting looking at gigantic-sized pictures of yourself. It's weird, I try not to get too close to the center one.

ANYWAY, because of internet deals, we got a room's worth of wedding portraiture for under $100!! Basically, it's kind of a big deal, for me at least. We still have to navigate the scary world of albums, but not yet. I keep telling myself that after this little victory, I get to relax for awhile ;)

In the meantime, I'm also working on Inspiration vs. Reality boards. Doesn't that sound promising?! It's gonna' be epic. Ya'll probably have some idea of how my overactive mind works at this point, and when it comes to how I pictured our wedding vs. how our wedding was pictured? I'm tingling with excitement. It's a manic, nervous excitement:

That's what it looks like. Anyway, back to work. I'm hoping we're honing in on our future home. We have had some frustrating times but this past weekend was productive. I can't wait to reveal our new home!!! We have to have one first though, so, until then, I'll be back soon with some pretty boards!

So for all those readin' along, are you already in your permanent home with your hubby or soon-to-be hubby? or are you house hunting too? And if the latter, are you having trouble focusing on anything else?? Where my first time homebuyers at?!

To spend or not to spend...

... Apparently there is no question.

I need some help, I mean, because it is a good question, and I don't just impulse buy everything I see on Etsy... just mostly everything, and this is my latest squirm-inducing, itchy-credit-card-finger obsession:

Not just blue mason jars, authentic blue mason jars (notice I've not linked it up, you can't have them, they're mine! Just kidding, she has more than enough for everyone). Real live antiques, and only $8 each. But do I need to spend $80? Do I need 10 antique blue mason jars?

I know that I would love to use them to hold bouquets, but then I would only need 4, but if I use them to hold bouquets, I would want to incorporate them elsewhere too, just because they're awesome and fit our rustic theme. I dunno' I'd love to hear what you all think.

It's not just mason jars either, the man's come up with a plan for making a structure for my fabric backdrop and suggested the Amish milk cans:

Because they are a taller support than a flower pot, even a large flower pot. I won't go into the details of his idea yet because we have to see if we can even make it happen (and I need to wrap my head around it) but the point is, I didn't buy these when I went on my big trip to the Lancaster Flower and Craft Warehouse because they're something like $35 each. Just seems a bit steep to me, but I cannot find them any. where. else. And I like the idea of spending $70 more than buying flower pots that might not go with our whole look regardless of how much those are going to cost... and large flower pots are never cheap... quick research time!!...

........

$40 is the cheapest I found, say for a 16" flower pot (that's not big enough, I can't pretend it would be) so any bigger and prices jump up to $80+.

Point is, I'm kicking myself now for not buying these... really kicking myself, because this is now the smartest, most cost-effective option and I can't find them anywhere else (in a funny twist, I can't even find these cans on the Lancaster FAC website! I know they have them, but not on their website for shipping; apparently I have to physically go buy them).

To come back around full circle, I love how now that our time is drawing near, all of a sudden these sudden (self-induced) expenses are popping up. And because we're getting closer, I keep telling myself 'Oh, you don't have time to think about it, just buy it already!' ....... Silly spender. Don't even get me started on Etsy finds like this:

But I keep telling myself that it's all enhancements to the theme, and I will love looking back on these details if I can have them... and of course I will never remember in a few years that they weren't there if I can't have them.

Kyle says money comes and goes. What do you guys think?

It'll get more exciting... Promise

I realized late last night that I didn't source any of the items I showed yesterday... just disappointing. Anyway, for anyone who liked what they saw in general (but better not have been parents or bridesmaids) I linked everything from yesterday's post... in yesterday's post, like it's meant to be. That is not an invitation for parents and bridesmaids to go peeking! Stay away from that post FOREVER!!

In other news, RSVPs are steadily streaming in. We're up to 18 I think... that's almost half, which I'm super excited about. We only have two families so far that can't come. Kyle and I are getting a kick out of some of the responses too, when they're all in, I'll post some of the choicest ones. I'm actually really looking forward to the RSVP post, I'm comforted by numbers, they're easy and they don't lie and they put things into perspective in a way that you don't have to think about; it's right there in front of you.

In exciting news!! My dress is in at Priscilla of Boston, I'm going in on Monday to pick it up, then Friday is when I pick up my altered David's Bridal dress, so it will be an emotional week. I'm going to actually put it on, take good pictures and show them to you since this is officially not my dress anymore; I don't have to feel superstitious about showing me in it.

Also the rings will come in this week!! I am going to have sooo much to show!! Which will hopefully make up for the fact that I have nothing to show right now :)

Lastly, we are very quickly approaching the 30 day mark...

(Oh snap!)

And while that's very exciting, it means that everyone wants to get paid...

Be prepared to shut the f up... and get me paid!

Anyway, the butcher, the baker and the candlestick maker will all come calling in about 20 days... aka the caterer, the cake artist and the florist. The honeymoon also has to be paid off and we have to sneak money to our DJ who insists that he won't take any (typical friendor). And most importantly, we have to buy booze :) I'm a little nervous about how much money is about to leave our hands. Kyle's not too happy about it either, because it's taking away from our house fund. But I'm steadily paying him back for things and he's an excellent saver. I don't think it's fair or logical to give yourself such a hard time about such an important day. I've stopped feeling bad about how many dresses I've bought and how much goes onto credit cards at this point. I've not buying million dollar jewels or feeding my guests endangered animals for their dinners so... compared to that, nothing we're doing is particularly extravagant X) I know, it's a joke.

Anyway, that's just my musings on the subject. I don't know if we ever really had a real set budget, I know we said we did, but I never actually sat down and wrote out '20% of the budget is photography, 50% of the budget is catering' etc... We picked our vendors because we love them, and so far it's fit us into a 20K range. Would 15K or even 10K have been more awesome? Absolutely! Now that I'm nearing the end, can I see places where we could have made the wedding 15K or 10K? Absolutely not! So why freak out over it? It's one thing to say this now though, but when we come out on the other side of this, I'll do a real budget analysis and really get to the heart of what was worth the money and what maybe wasn't. Until then, did anyone else freak over wedding expenses? or did you have to have what you had to have?

I'm back, Baby

I know I know, it's been awhile and I suck. Last week was very busy. I spent it all doing crafty stuff and pining for Kyle who was away in Russia. He came back and this weekend was hellacious; baby showers (she's glowing) and christenings (he's so precious) and laundry (boring) and grocery shopping (expensive).

I plan on addressing all these things more thoroughly, but here's what needs attention in condensed format:

• Remaining crafts
• RSVPs (we've gotten, like, 11 or something!! No 'no's yet... crazy huh?)
• Dun dun duuuuuuun... makeup and hair
• Gifts for parents, attendants, etc...
• My bridal shower is this weekend! Yay!
• My DB dress is going to be done at alterations next week already!
• About the same time, my PoB dress should be coming in. Watch the saga unfold as I try to sell it!
• Money money money moneeeey... MONAAAAYY!!

There's more stuff, point is I just wanted to check in and say I've not forgotten about you all, and I love ya' for sticking around. I'm still enjoying the heck out of planning, and I cannot wait for the day to get here! And can you say WHOO HOO COSTA RICA HONEYMOON!!!

Of all my lovely readers who are brides-to-be or recent brides (or even not so recent, I don't care) did you enjoy planning? hate it? get stressed? stay cool the whole time? Whatever stories you want to tell, I'd love to hear them.

Also, anyone who wants to get a good laugh first thing in the morning, and for a story most of us can relate to, bridesmaid Keri sent me this link. To. die. for!

Breaking it down

I am finally ready! I finally feel not just ready, but impelled to post about our budget.

(Basically, this is what we're working with)

Why? You ask? It is intensely personal and might seem like way TMI to some. If you don't care to or don't want to see how much money this shindig is costing, by all means, please don't be offended (AKA skip this post).

I've recently been having trouble conceptualizing it. I've also been having trouble coming to grips with our "number" AND when I don't have a handle on money, I start freaking out that I owe somebody something and that I'm forgetting someone in some way.

Some have called me a control freak...

But I just need to be on top of things all the time.

Anyway, I also see no need to go into who is contributing what amount, suffice it to say that my parents are generously helping us out and we're all in it together. I will divulge though that of the portion that Kyle and I are paying, he's the one paying it and I'm only very slowly paying him back, like for the rest of my life. I want to make it very clear that I'm the one keeping a spreadsheet of what I owe him and I'm the one who's religiously making sure he gets paid back. I just don't have the money for these big purchases sitting around. You'd think it wouldn't be such a deal, what with deposits and all, but as it turns out, I couldn't even just up and write a check for $1,000 right now. He and my parents been my heroes so far.

These are the thoughts that stress me out. Kyle does a fantastic job trying to get me to not worry about these things by taking care of them when I'm not looking and then saying "Don't worry about it." He's an excellent saver and also very rational/logical/analytical when it comes to finances. Nothing ever really freaks him out, he sees every problem as an obstacle that he has already prepared for and he sees every triumph as the end goal that he had already planned on.

We had an "audit" in our house last night during which we really hammered out our costs, what's been paid, what still needs to be paid, etc... and I compared it today with www.costofwedding.com. Sure, there are items listed there that we don't have and there are things we do have that are not listed, but for me, for my peace of mind, this website really helps put things into perspective.

So without further ado:

• Our original budget: $10,000 (pretty naive as it turned out, $10,000 is nothing in Philadelphia and even in Lancaster, $10,000 was barely going to be enough for some of the venues we looked at!) Cost of Wedding budget: $17,960 to $29,933... Okie dokie, time to re-evaluate!

• Our venue (catering, rental fee, ceremony fee, alcohol  AND cake): $9,000. Cost of Wedding venue: between $6,298 and $10,496. Whew, it's no mean feat feeding and watering a bunch of people!

• Our photographer: $2,800 for awesomeness. Cost of Wedding photography: between $1,377 and $2,295... well, we already knew that was going to happen.

• Our flowers: $1,100. Cost of Wedding flowers: between $990 and $1,650. Very nice! But to be fair, I should add that their number includes decorations and because we're DIY-ing some of those, there is some hidden cost (glue, fabric, balsa wood flowers, a few country novelties), but I've been spreading them out so far that I can't keep track of them. I'm definitely going to keep that number below $500 though.

• Our invitations (and save the dates): $325 because of DIY, not that cheap, but still cheaper than anything else I saw out there, and, oh yeah, there's the little factor of having complete control of the design! Cost of Wedding invitations: between $357 and $595, Ha! Success!!

• Our favors: $175 (alcohol, vanilla beans, little amber bottles!) Cost of Wedding favors: between $206 and $344, booyah!!

(just Nick... Julie can come too though ;)

• Our DJ: while this hasn't been 100% settled yet, we've been generally tossing around the number $800, for the time being, let's just use that value, especially since our DJ is a friendor! Cost of Wedding entertainment: between $876 and $1,476... that's why you want to try and find friendors!

• Our jewelry: This is a really tough one for me because I really, truly believe that my engagement ring should not be part of the budget breakdown. So by jewelry, I am only including our wedding bands: $1,700. Cost of Wedding jewelry: between $1,351 and $2,251, perfect middle ground.

(Oh no!! the cat's out of the bag!! I hope you guys like my new dress!)

• Our attire: This is all very tentative... not knowing what either of us is going to wear yet is tough, plus I have no idea how much alterations are going to be, but I'm going to go ahead and make an estimation of $2,500. Cost of Wedding attire: between $980 and $1,633, well, clearly they're not as well-dressed as we are.
• Planner/consultant: not necessary
• Transportation: not necessary

There is of course more, there are attendant/parent gifts (~$600) and vendor tips (~$500) and hotel rooms (~$250) and maybe (if I'm not dead broke) spa days and because this is already so long, I'm not going to go into the honeymoon costs; recognizing that while it's not typically something people include in the equation, it is included in our equation because we are all pooling together our resources to make this day happen. But I think for now, this paints a pretty thorough picture, at least for me.

And the magic number is:::::::

$20,250

That is indeed a hard pill to swallow. What makes it toughest is that I cannot make that number smaller. I mean, short of eloping. The second toughest thing is that even if we were to go back to our original scheme of getting married in Hawaii and having a reception here, it's not like that number would get any smaller because the reception is the most expensive part. I do feel better having it written out, but it will always be mind-boggling how much money we're spending on one day. But I know, I musn't get so depressed; I know it will be worth it.

All I have to say about it is our friends and family better have the best time EVER!

Anyone else having money spaz attacks? 

Ghost in the brain machine

I'm kind of at a loss about what to post about and how to do it...

I guess, I should start by saying that I keep laboring under the impression that I don't feel too awfully stressed about work or the wedding but I've had this twitch in my left eyelid for about three days now, which makes me think I'm underestimating my stress level.

This sunny Philadelphia weather isn't helping either... I mean it's late May, it's pretty cold and I'm convinced the sun no longer exists.

Anyway, I will reiterate, I don't feel stressed, there's pretty much nothing else to do! I mean, nothing major; all big vendors are booked, and we still have six months! Most importantly, I'm still loving wedding planning, the only issue has been trying to convince Kyle of this:

We had our first "argument" wedding-related last night. Those a big quotation marks because there was no raised voices, and not even really any hurt feelings, just a few small misunderstandings, and Kyle saying things like "Well, I wanted to get married in Hawaii."

I've been struggling with the whole blogosphere thing; chances are no one but me is reading my blog, but what if everyone is? And what if I write something about someone that upset me and that person reads my blog? And what if they hate me for it? The question is, do I really care?? Interestingly enough, say I write something horrible about Kyle's great uncle's second cousin, which I would totally never do, but say I did. I'd feel a lot worse worrying about whether or not my mom would be disappointed in me than his great uncle's second cousin. It all boils down to, I want to use this as a venting tool, but I do not want to offend anyone with what's really going on in my head.

And by anyone, I mean my mom... I love you, Mama, I like to act like a good person around you. Truth is I don't like most people and wish to bash them. I won't though, for harmony's sake.

All I will say is that a few names have been added to our guest list by people I do not feel had a right to add them without asking me; they just added the names and then didn't leave me any option to say "Yeah, no, I don't even know that person." Kyle keeps saying "It's just a courtesy" and then goes on and on about how he'll pay for the extra people...

This is when my brains start to boil out of my head. "This is not about money!" I say this with extra emphasis and with an edge to my slightly raised voice every time because he has said it multiple times and every time I have to assure him that I am not offended because of the money that one extra person costs to feed, I'm offended because we should be making the guest list- no one else- and no one else should be adding people without asking me first if it's okay.

That being said, I still also had to yellowpages some addresses that people haven't gotten to me.

But that's beside the point, the point is the one comment that Kyle pulls out that puts this race car into the red zone is "I'm going to end up paying for it all anyway."

He says this in a dejected, self-deprecating way. As if his life savings isn't worth anyone's bother. Then I feel like, 'well, it is my desire to have all my family present that's keeping us local instead of doing a destination wedding.' And then I think 'Whoa whoa whoa, you don't have the right to guilt me about wanting to stay close to my family!' And then closely following this is "It's like a slap in the face when you disregard the help we're getting from my parents." (I say that out loud, check out the cojones on this chick!) and he doesn't have a response to that because he says things thinking only of that thing he said, not how it relates to other things. He doesn't mean to offend. Besides, I believe that aside from what my parents are generously donating to our cause, what he means is that whatever's left over has to be covered by us... translation: him. Yes, yes, I know, I have no money, a very piddly savings, and when it comes time to settle our remaining vendor bills, he's going to be the one coughing up.

This makes me feel bad.

(Obviously I've been reading too much Hyperbole and a Half today... you should too!)

Kyle is taking care of A LOT of things. Photography, I'm still paying him back for, I'm still paying him back for MY dress!! And of course, he's paying for the whole honeymoon. Now, he'll probably get upset with me if anyone from his family reads this and then interprets it as us starving on the streets somewhere. We are very good money managers, don't worry about us! And I have an exceptional record of paying back my debts, I'm not worried about it eventually, but I think making these comments makes Kyle feel better now. I'm not much on instant gratification, so it hurts my feelings when he knows that I would give him all the money for everything, ever, right now if I had it, but I can't... not yet.

Anyway, to sum up our "fight" then, I had to explain to him that when I complain to him about little things, he gets angry on my behalf. I get upset because his dad added another person to the guest list, and he gets mad and starts going on his rants about how if we had just eloped none of this would be an issue. And a lightbulb goes off: you're only upset because I said I was upset, aren't you?! Yes, yes that's it.

The problem became that I do not clue him in on all the little gritty details that I LOVE because I figure they will bore him BUT I tell him all about the things that upset me, because he's a good listener and I can tell him anything, so I tell him so I can feel better. Well, when he only hears the bad stuff, he automatically, and with good reason assumes that I'm in a downward hate spiral of wedding planning. No, I'm just a little upset about this one thing... but I'm in love with this, this, this, this, and this! He says 'Oh.' and I smile and go back to watching TV and knitting my wedding shrug, which I LOVE!

I don't want to talk too much about little details with him because he'll get bored, and I can't not tell him about the things that are upsetting me because he can read me like a book and will then think that if I'm mad but not talking about it I'm keeping things from him which is even worse than fighting over them outright.

Relationships are fun.

My mom says, however, that I cannot expect him to get excited over the things I get excited over anyway. So what I have to do is continue reassuring him that I really am having an awesome time, and that if he's not having an awesome time, he should at least try not to have an awful time, because it's not like I've asked him to do anything horrific, like pick out silverware... yet.

What's the point of all this?? You ask. Well, revelation time: I keep saying (and actually believing!) that I'm happy and not stressed, but this morning I started hearing things!

It started out when I was feeding the dog. I heard my name... whispered... it sounded like it was coming from the basement... no one was in the basement. That freaked me out, but I looked an Bailey and she didn't seem to have any inkling that there was a ghost in the house, and it's very unlikely that a burglar would know my name. So I dismissed it even though I had gotten hot all over and went downstairs to the kitchen to get ready for the day. I turned on the radio and started making coffee... Ya'll I heard my name again! Clear as day, over the sound of the radio. No joke, I was sweating bullets. I don't believe in the supernatural, but I also don't believe I'm crazy, at least not yet, not entirely. I ran (I mean ran, like Flock of Seagulls ran) upstairs and waited for Kyle to come down with me (he had been taking a shower through all of this). He laughed at me of course but the security blanket was in place, so I was fine.

As I said, I wasn't worried about my physical safety because not only do we have very good locks, but a burglar would not know my name. And I also wasn't worried about my house being haunted, I was worried about my sanity!! I mean really?? Once is just a silly story, twice is alarming, dude. I've since been thinking more and more about it, and perhaps someone either next door (thin walls in those rowhomes) or maybe Kyle or our roommate Kenny all the way upstairs sneezed and my very overactive imagination translated it in my brain into my name. "Achoo = Ashley???" I dunno'. This kind of falls apart when I consider that the whisper of my name sounded exactly the same when I was on the middle floor of my house as on the bottom floor... as if it was coming from me and not the house.

Do I have a tumor?? All Kyle said is I better not go all Paranormal Activity on him, because he will kill me before I get a chance to kill him

Ha! This is the alternative, either I was just hearing things and I have a very anxious, jumpy, and overactive mind, or I'm possessed...

But on a much cooler note... My StDs are going away! (Sorry, I HAD to!) But seriously: SAVE THE DATES ARE DONE!!! They're finished, stuffed, sealed, and addressed. They're making a field trip to the post office on Saturday where they'll be painstakingly stamped and sent off to 52 different directions!

For anyone who actually goes to the website listed on the bottom of the Save the Date once you get it, Thanks! that was the point! Now take a picture of yourself with the save the date and e-mail it to me or upload it somewhere (facebook, photobucket, shutterfly, whatever the kids are using nowadays) and comment with a link. I'll post pictures! I would much rather post pictures of people with the StDs than the StDs themselves, because you're more interesting!

What else do I want from you? Hmmm, anyone else stressed but you didn't know it? How were you feeling at the six month mark?

Am I crazy???

For real? Ahh!! Taxes are due in less than a month!!

I just read a blog post about someone reviewing their budget and noting that they would have enough when all was said and done to pay off their vendors when the final bills finally came in. See for anyone who does not know, you put these tiny deposits down (sometimes they're 50%, but usually they're like $100) and then a month before the wedding, you're, like, seriously broke. I picture it like the bill collector:

Except the bill collector will actually look like Maureen from Riverdale, our photog Ben, and our florist Tara, and eventually our baker. Also our DJ, the resort where we're honeymooning... am I forgetting anyone??

(I wish they all looked like Pearl :D)

Now, I'm not complaining because everyone's really been great and we're on target for budget, I think we're doing as well as we can and still have the wedding we deserve/want. HOWEVER, the problem is that as time goes on, the final numbers on these bills change!

Here's a breakdown (because I bet you don't believe me!):
Our catering bill will change as far ahead as a week before the wedding depending on the final head count.
Our photography bill will change depending on who our second photographer is.
Our florist bill will change if our number of centerpieces changes and if there are any misunderstandings and she didn't include something I wanted in the initial quote (which I think has actually already happened... maybe).
Oh yeah, and then there's an alterations bill.

Now, I know what you're going to say: "At least you can have an estimate." Do you know who you're talking to?? It's not the numbers that are making me nervous, it's the changes, it's the not-knowing part that's driving me crazy. I need goals in life to know what to aim for. You could tell me a million gagillion dollars and I mean, that would be safe, but I'd know that wasn't real. I don't like surprises, that's all. No one can tell me how much things are going to cost, but it's not their fault.

Boooo. Anyway, every now and then, I just like to whine about those things that are out of my control. I don't like not being in control.

On to things that are in my control. Save the Dates need to go out!! Like a month ago!!! AHHHHHH!!! Once I get working, I think they'll only take me a weekend solid to finish. AS SOON as they're finished I'll post pictures, I'll post some progress pictures of me going crazy colored pencilling the fiftieth one!

This actually brings up another important point, because before the StDs can go out, I need everyone's address... yeah, that's going to take longer than hand-making every invitation!! Mama... get to work!! Haha, just kidding, but only kinda'...

With trying to finish my PhD and trying to do all this wedding stuff, which, believe me, I love more than my real job, my task list isn't any bigger, it's just more pressing! Kyle's been incredibly supportive though, and has already offered to do all the printing, or at least allow me to print on his laserjet at work :) But the funny thing is that every time I think about invites and RSVPs and StDs I go 'Oh crap... I still don't have anyone's address...' I make mental notes but my mental hard drive consistently moves mental notes to my mental trashcan and then mentally deletes them forever.

I also really wanted to hold on this next post until I could say "OUR HONEYMOON IS FOR REAL BOOKED!!" but we haven't yet heard the for real confirmation that the hotel customer service person has received our secure PDF of the credit card authorization form and was able to open it and then that everything actually went through. So I don't want to get ahead of myself! But I so want to tell everyone that it's booked!! Can you tell I don't like being in this limbo?! Maybe I should take a break from letting it all out on all of you until real things are happening. You have my word I will not blog again until our honeymoon is completely booked, flight, hotel and two smoking barrels.

Anyone else having limbo issues? Are you driving yourself and those around you crazy??

"You need to relax!"

Flowers really are that expensive

I just did a quick cost analysis of the flowers. I won't bore you with itemized lists. If I get wholesale flowers and everything else from http://www.save-on-crafts.com/ it would cost over $900!!! Even if Tara gave me flowers for free (I realize that wouldn't happen, I'm just trying to prove a point, sheesh) all the other supplies would still cost $500.

The point is, after doing that analysis, I'm even more receptive to her price. Especially because let's not forget that most importantly, she'll be doing the work! I won't be doing the work the day of our wedding! That's got to be worth the cost. I also can't neglect the fact that aside from actually picking wildflowers, my "vision" is not an expensive one; we don't need much besides the bouquets, boutonnieres, and centerpieces. I mean, my opinion might completely change once she actually sends me the estimate, but for now, I'm even more on board with these flowers... Until I crack and just pick some weeds from the side of the highway.

I know I know, the suspense is killing me too

So, I'm sorry that I promised to write two days ago with flower pictures and I didn't. I know also that you're all dying to know about my honeymoon drama (just play along) and I've kept you hanging.

Well, I'm very sorry, but I'm back now and more than ready to tell you about the last few days!

First of all, Honeymoon!!! I told you that I had not heard back for a week and was ready to write the serious e-mail. Well, I looked through all my e-mails the next morning and I noticed something: My first e-mail that the customer service person responded to immediately was sent to the general "info" e-mail address at Casa Chameleon. When the woman responded to me, however, she responded from her personal e-mail address associated with the hotel; I wrote to "info@hotelCC.com" and she responded from "her.name@hotelCC.com." Well, I just hit reply to reply to her, and when I saw the difference in these two e-mail addresses, it struck me that I bet I could get a quick response again if I went back to e-mailing "info@hotelCC.com."

Well, I did just that, I tried it out. Monday morning I wrote an e-mail to info and said something to the effect of 'We have written a couple e-mails that have not been answered. We love your resort, we really want to stay there for our honeymoon but we'll have to choose another destination if we don't hear from you in another couple of days.' Dude, I heard back that evening! Now, while I got no explanation as to why it had taken a week for her to respond or why her e-mail wasn't working or whatever, she finally responded with the same sweet enthusiasm that she did initially.

And guess what... OUR DATES ARE OPEN!!! I wrote back to say thank you so much and please put them on hold for us, she just wrote back to me with the credit card authorization form and the guarantee that the Ultra Luxury Villa aka Honeymoon Villa is on hold for us!! When I told Kyle he promised that this weekend we would sit down and book the flights and fill out the credit card form.

I'M SO EXCITED!!!!!


Whew! But I need to calm down, on to flowers!!

I met with Tara from Splints and Daisies yesterday, it's literally a hop-skip-jump from our venue, so that's great. Her style is more contemporary but she's also rustic and doesn't do cookie cutter- what she calls- lollipop bouquets. Here's a little taste of her style:

Moss... love moss...

She's as in love with fiddlehead ferns as I am... Score!!

She likes making bouquets that look lopsided or flow a little, not just balls of perfect flowers in pinks and reds. Anyway, as I hinted before, if I had to have a florist, she's right up my alley. She's very nice and for the area, seems to be well-priced. Especially because I found out that she can do a lot of the things I wanted to do with my centerpieces (moss, wood slabs, candles) because she already has those materials. I was hesitant at first, but then when I factored in shipping and what I was going to do with 12 wood slabs after the wedding, I thought 'hey, maybe I should just let this nice lady make my life easier.'

Here's what I came to her with:

These are the flowers I want incorporated in the design (the ranunculus is there just in case, but not my favorite, because the calla lilies are better).

It's been so much easier for me to find boutonnieres that I like, and so hard to find bouquets that I like, so basically, I told her that I love the balsa wood flowers, the feathers, the twigs, the fiddleheads, winter berries or pussy willow, and the calla lilies. These things are well represented here on these bouts, sooooo, just make the bout first to represent what's here and then make a bigger version as the bouquet.

Here's all I could find as inspiration for the bouquet:

I know it seems like there's a lot here, but I don't actually like any of these. I like the deep burgundy callas (but not the other stuff in those top left and middle bouquets), I like the succulents (but not the white callas or the grasses in the top right bouquet), I like the feathers (but not the dusty miller in the middle left bouquet), I like the wheat and balsa wood flowers (but not the fabric flowers in the middle right bouquet) and finally, ALL of them are TOO BIG!! I want the bouquets to be the size of the bottom row bouquets.

Shoo, got all that Tara? Here's some more stuff:

Centerpieces was very straightforward: I'm currently collecting wine bottles (I actually have enough *Squee* already but still collecting so I can use them elsewhere if I want to) and I want just a fiddlehead fern or two and few wheat stalks sticking out. I'd like herbs at each place setting, and that's it. Then of course I still want the burlap on the table, moss on the burlap, the wood slab on the moss, and a few candles and the wine bottle on the wood slab.

Again, she has these for me to use.*


*Now of course I don't get to use them for free, I would be renting them, but if renting them from her still costs less than buying and shipping them to myself, then we've found ourselves a winner. Now, I say all this now, she hasn't yet given me a breakdown of how much this is all going to cost, but she has assured me that it's on the lower end budget-wise from the average Lancaster flower budget, which by the way is $2000!! I told her my budget was $1000 not because it is but because I really don't want to spend $2000 on something that's going to die very soon after the wedding.

Needless to say, I've re-budgeted because I realized that I've not been using very good tools to figure out my budget (theknot said flowers should cost me $300... what the frick?!). There's a website that shows average wedding cost for your zip code and breaks down how much you should expect to pay for each element, and it's making me feel a lot better about how much we're spending:

Average wedding cost in Lancaster: between $17,960 and $29,933! If we even manage to come in on the lower end of that range, I've decided I'm going to be happy. Here's a quick breakdown of why:

• We spent more than average on the wedding bands because Kyle keeps insisting on getting me whatever I want HOWEVER, according to the website, we're still spending below average for jewelry (I'm not counting engagement ring, I'm sorry, I just can't do it, it's not a wedding cost)
• We spent less than average on the invitations by DIYing
• We're right in the middle of the range for attire
• We're right on target for flowers (hopefully)
• We're actually on the low end of the average for venue and catering, can you believe it!
• We're spending a bit less on the DJ, because he's a good friend, but not to worry Nick, we're still not going to shaft you.
• Our DOC comes with the venue, and I'm too anal to actually pay someone to do stuff I'm going to want to do myself before the day of anyway
• We don't have transportation to pay for because booking 15 rooms at the nearby Hampton/Marriot gets us free shuttle service!

The only expense that's over the average is photography, Ben's a little pricey of course, even though he's less pricey than most of the photographers we've seen! But the point is, I seem to be on the right track to have a mostly budget-conscious wedding, but I'm no longer going to lie to myself and let myself think we can do this wedding for less than it's going to cost because I keep getting sticker shock and it's embarrassing when you go to vendors and they're like 'yeah, that's going to be 10 times what you want to spend.'

Anyway, I'm getting off my soap box. I go dress shopping tomorrow!!! All by myself, and I'm going to buy a dress, for real. I feel like it's best in the end for me to be there myself, even though that didn't work out so great the first time. Everyone has had different opinions and so I want it to just be me at the counter making the final decision. Plus no one else is around :-(

Oh hey, I found my long lost twin! And she's wearing my dress!!

How funny is that?! Now, a shift is happening here, it's ammo against my FMIL; is this the way you want my hair to look for the wedding?? Because this is the only way I would wear it curly... My mom is currently cringing. No worries Mama!! But still, doesn't her hair look almost right with that dress?? If I wore my hair curly for the wedding, I would actually be tempted to wear it like that! And that's the only way I would wear it curly.

So you tell me; curly and wild, or sleek and sophisticated and possibly boring???