Thursday, October 18, 2012

Regrets, I've had a few, but then again...

Too few to mention, right? Amiright?! This post has been a loong loooong time coming. It's almost not worth spending time on. And yet, it struck me today that Kyle and I are slowly approaching our one year anniversary and this is not a post I would reserve for a one year anniversary post, so I decided to make it an almost one year anniversary post.

Moreover, I've had a lot of time to think, to talk to other brides, to discuss stuff with my photographer, who we still keep in touch with (Remember?! He just had a baby!!!). I cleared out my Google reader today and unsubscribed to a few of the wedding blogs that I was STILL READING and not surprisingly, I'm getting a little tired of wasting time on wedding blogs.

What? Oh you're not surprised either? Oh, you're surprised it took me this long?

Well the answer, my friends, to why it's taken me this long to let go is... Regret.

Finally not looking at wedding dresses any longer has made me realize I'm letting go of it, and talking candidly with my photographer has made me realize I'm letting go of it, and all that made me realize I could finally post about it.

Instead of being even more long-winded, here are my reflections in pictures (all courtesy of Ben Weldon):
Ohhhh if only I could go back and not let that crazy-slow chick touch my face!!! Although I've let it go... mostly, one of my biggest regrets is not doing my own makeup. Not only would I have appreciated the shots better; my funny makeup faces, my huge brushes, but she took about 45 minutes to do my makeup! It ate up half of my getting-ready time!! As a result, eeeeeeeeverything after that was rushed and I wasn't able to get a lot of the other shots that I wanted to get.

The left picture is me RUSHING through opening Kyle's gift to me, which was a really really nice strand of pearls that I would have liked to have had more than one picture of... with Mia doing God knows what in the background... And on the right is one of only three pictures "bridal shoot" style that Ben squeezed in before we had to go to the ceremony. Side note: all the while, I thought to myself... ummm, good thing we weren't planning on a first look, I barely had time to get ready myself!
This left us time for one shot of wine that I didn't even taste. And that face that suggests I'm not enjoying this? That's because I know that I didn't get any shots with my girls, I didn't get any shots on the balcony, I didn't get but a couple sexy shots of myself... all because of that stupid makeup chick taking 45 minutes on my makeup!! Oh, and remember how Kyle got to have plenty of sexy glamour shots by himself because he didn't waste 45 minutes on his makeup?!
I'm not bitter anymore though because he's so damn handsome and everyone always wants to see the bride and here he got his own couple moments. Go grooms!!

I had planned on another walk-through of the reception space because I had left other people to set it up and... you know me. It wasn't till after the ceremony I realized how stark our cake table looked and how the banner wasn't placed right. Silly little thing to be angry about right?! Of course!! THE POINT IS if I had done my own makeup it would have taken me 15 minutes max with another half hour to check on the setup of the reception space and say "Oh hey, could you put some moss around the cake stand?" and "Oh hey, the banner is supposed to be stacked so you can actually read 'Love Is Sweet' not wrapped around the table so it looks like one bizarre word."

Again, you and everyone else might say I'm being a bit too bitter, but like I said, it would have taken five minutes for me to look at this and fix it, but I didn't have five minutes to spare anywhere.

Moving on!!
Can you guess what I hate about this picture?? I'll tell you, it's those stupid pavilion plastic flaps!! I was so mad that I couldn't get those to come up. The venue had a very strict rule that the flaps go down if it's below 65 degrees out and do ya' wanna' know what the high that day was?? Sixty-frickin'-three!! Two degrees separated me from a gorgeous, rustling breeze and natural sunlight. Let me just say I was more than comfortable in my strapless gown and I know for a fact that Kyle was sweating profusely AND had plastic-warped sunlight hitting him in the face. I KNOW there is nothing I can do about it and I need to let it go, but if there is one other thing I'm still having trouble getting over it's Riverdale Manor and their intransigent staff. EVERYONE WAS HOT!! IT WAS GORGEOUS OUTSIDE!!! But hey, they got an extra $250 out of me for having to run the heater because it's an automatic charge if it's below 65 degrees. Gotta' love those Riverdale coordinators!
Oh yeah... no one even knew these were here. I had meant to tell my parents, his parents, our grandparents, my girls and guys to blow bubbles when the ceremony was over so everyone else would follow suit, but I forgot, so no one blew bubbles, and so we had no send off, we had no bubbles... just a small regret, more funny than angering; the bubbles were just completely forgotten! Sorry bubbles!
Another small, really small regret: Ben suggested we do formals after portraits; we had better chance of catching the light for the money shots- me and the man- and then we would do family formal shots right after. Well no thank you, I said, I will not be the one in charge of trying to find everyone at the cocktail hour after Kyle and I get done with our portraits. Everyone was there, so I thought, no, we should just get this done and over with. Lo and Behold, I find out only after the pictures come in, that all the magical sunset light was used up on the family formals. Ben said there was no way to know because of the tree line, but there it is, that beautiful burst of light. Not that it was gone to waste! But it would have been better placed here:
 Or here:
 Or somewhere here or here:

These shots still make me swoon, and I can't praise Ben's handy work enough, they just would have been that much more amazing with amazing sunlight. Anyway, not at all angry, just moving right along.

I have almost completely let go of my dress drama! Whoo hoo!! I still never had THAT MOMENT every bride thinks she needs to have found the one, but this dress was awesome. There, I said it. So why am I even bringing it up??

I had to buy three dresses to find 'the one' ya'll! And I still can't get rid of the third (Priscilla of Boston), so I'm still super mega pissed I wasted my money on it! Second, I still wish I had been bold enough to throw some ombre in there somewhere; I said I was going to get a blush underskirt (off-white dress, blush underskirt, plum shoes... ombre!) or a nice deep burgundy sash to go across the middle, and I never did, and to this day, the whole ensemble is just a little too white for my liking. Once again, not a huge deal, just being real.

Finally, third, it. still. didn't. fit!! I was too worried about being thought a bitch to press the seamstress to pull it in more. I had a good inch around my waist that it could have been taken in, and I selfishly thought that I could have looked a little slimmer if it had fit me properly. I was kind of opposed to corset tops and was happy initially that this one was a zipper gown, but when it came to fit, if I could go back, a corset top would have made sure it fit no matter how poorly the seamstress listened to me. Yet another small thing that I should never have been bitter about at all, but hello, you're lying if you tell me you don't want to look sexy on your wedding day when you picked a relatively fitted gown!

Anyway, I never meant to be this long-winded about any of these things and here I am, super-justifying everything! You can tell who I'm really trying to convince ;) Just a few more things, promise!!

These shots are the only ones that captured some of the stuff (junk?) that I collected to get the whole primitive (that's Amish speak) feel in our venue. Anyone who's been following knows how much I love stacked crates, and I collected quite a few to decorate the reception area, and I have no photos of them. The other pictures is the only shot that captures any of the pitchers I collected and that my Mama lovingly stuffed with wheat stalks. Did you know that those bowls had river rocks and flowers and candles floating in them? Neither will anyone else, because there's no picture of them besides this one. Remember how I also made chair ribbons for the bride and groom's chairs that match the altar? No? That's because there's no picture of them. Now, as I've said, I've talked candidly with my photographer about these things. He made fun of me at the time for having such a long list of photos I wanted taken and that made me feel embarrassed that I was being a bridezilla. When he finally had a bride who had a longer list than me, I was finally able to admit to him that if I had not felt so self-conscious, he would have gotten a much longer list :)

And hey, if it hadn't taken 45 minutes to do my makeup, then I would have had him follow me around the reception area before the ceremony and said "Oh, and take pictures of this, and this, and that over there!" Stupid slow makeup chick!

There's no hard feelings between Ben and me though, especially given the other simply amazing detail shots that he captured:

Sigh. He gave me more than I could have asked for, and in the end, life is way too short to dwell on little missed opportunities. I still have all the crates and wine bottles and I'm in the process of decorating my house with them! Because it's like living in my wedding fantasy world everyday!! This weekend I should have time to do some arranging, look out for pictures then!

Last beef (and another fabulous detail shot from Ben):
I thought I had been very clear with my florist that I wanted a bouquet with less structure, more whimsy. And I knew she was capable of such; we talked about how we both were not a fan of the "lollipop" bouquet. Here's some shots from her own portfolio:


So, you see? I knew she was capable of astonishing things and this is why I picked her! I showed her her own photos and said (while trying not to drool) 'yeah yeah, like this!!'

Did she still make beautiful bouquets?? Absolutely! Were they as cool and out there as I had hoped for? No, sorry, they were one step away from lollipop. Am I being nit-picky? Quite possibly!! But hey, that's what this whole post is about, it's been almost a year and I'm letting go of all these little hurt feelings and it feels good, but I still acknowledge that not everything was perfect. Not everything is going to be perfect.

To close, let me emphasize the most important point. The MARRIAGE is perfect, and that's all that really counts, the WEDDING was just a day, and it was still pretty freaking awesome. And let's not forget the end result currently kicking me in the bladder right now and giving me mild indigestion, that's totally awesome (not the indigestion).

So for the sake of the blog, these are my thoughts on what was not perfect, but for the sake of my life and your life and every other happily married woman, this is NOT to be confused with 'oh, well there must be something deeper that's wrong' because that's malarkey! Pure MALARKEY!! Don't not let yourself be a little upset about things that didn't go quite as planned. I am fully aware that relationships take work and raising kids takes work and life takes work, but I plan a party for that party to be perfect, thankyouverymuch! For everyone who's ever heard me talk about the things I regret, and judged me or rolled their eyes, this is my soap box, I no longer feel bad about being a little bitter. Take that.


  1. I had similar feelings after the big day and some qualms in agreement with your take on Riverdale. But, when it's all said and done- goal accomplished: married. Everyone had fun, raved about the venue, the ceremony, and how much they enjoyed the night. It takes a little bit of time to realize that no wedding is perfect, it just seems that way in pictures. :)

  2. A lot of brides feel the same way! I wouldn't know. ^_^ I loved your photos then and I love them now!

    RYN: I didn't know eggplant was a fruit! That just messes up my whole world! lol Thanks for the info though!