Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Oh I've got the funk!

And so, half a month after my last blog post, I've got a job (YAY!!) and have come into a pretty hectic time. Unfortunately, this coincides with a not-so-great period of my awesome pregnancy.

I still wouldn't trade it for anything, but my lungs are officially in my cheeks and my heart is in my esophagus and my stomach is in my throat. The whole rest of the body is reserved just for Peanut. My heartburn (although I wouldn't trade it for one day of morning sickness... gotta' keep reminding myself of my luck there) is near unbearable. I have a hard time focusing, sitting down, being happy, etc... It's not everyday... damn near, but I didn't have any yesterday... but when it strikes, it strikes long and hard and lasts all day. No food or drink or lack of food or drink helps. I've tried chewing gum, I've tried Tums, of course, I've tried massive quantities of water, no relief. The worst is that it isn't the acid-in-the-back-of-the-throat burpy kind of heartburn, this is hard core deep chest pain that feels like there is a blunt object tumbling around in my esophagus or windpipe or wherever. I don't care where it is, it's in my chest and it feels like 'Damnit if I could just swallow it down into my stomach, this feeling of something lodged in there would go away.' but that is not the case because obviously there is no object lodged there.

My lungs and heart feel like they're working beaucoup overtime. My blood pressure is fine, but my cholesterol is up (a little known fun fact about pregnancy; your cholesterol can increase by as much as 50% in your third trimester!). So after one flight of steps, I'm winded AND my heart feels like it's beating out of my chest. I would accept this as 'this is just the way it is' but I thought I was in shape, so it's kind of discouraging. Don't you have to work, kind of really hard in the delivery room? Can my squished lungs and overworked heart take it??

My job keeps me busy all day, which is nice. I haven't even really started working yet, just making research plans and settling in, but ordering supplies and getting all my paperwork filled out has really kept me busy. Add physicals to that, doctor appointments, and running back and forth to Philly to deposit my thesis at UPenn (WHOO HOO!!), and you've got one packed schedule. Unfortunately, Kyle is also super busy at work and when he's at home, he's usually worrying about all the stuff at home and back at work that still needs to be done. It's upsetting because he's very hard to cheer up when he decides to be in a bad mood or when he decides to be pessimistic about this or that getting done. I suppose this goes along with his massive job responsibilities, a new house, and a new baby. Maybe I'm overly optimistic but it can be rough sometimes when you feel like your hubby is slowly slipping into a permanent funk and you're all by yourself on Happy Island. When you're both in a bad mood?? Fugettaboutit! Just stay out of each other's way.

So I have to apologize for a long-winded and unorganized post. My brain is muddled and like I said, the heartburn makes it hard to focus. I'm going to get back to work now and try to get more stuff done for another two hours or so before I give up. Hopefully I'll be in a better mood next post, but today I just needed to vent. Thanks for reading.

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