Hairy situation

Clever, yes? No! What would be really clever would be to talk about something completely un-hair-related. But this is a post about hair, because I am unoriginal.

I have a dilemma... well, not really, but let me lay it on the line here. I have ridiculously curly hair... thanks Mom, and when it's dry, and even most of the time it's wet too, it's frizzy as hell:

You see the frizz halo? This picture has not been altered in any way. It's there all the time unless massive leave-in conditioner is employed.

Now, the "dilemma" is what the sam hill I'm going to do with it for the wedding, because my hair doesn't cooperate under the best conditions, and don't even get me started on what it does in the worst conditions. Suffice it to say that during the winter, I've been mistaken for a hay bale by more than one farm animal.

Fun fact: my mom used to put my hair out in the yard after hair cuts for the birds to make nests with. I thought this was an everyone thing. I put Kyle's hair outside after a haircut once.

No birds touched it... it turns out your hair has to be the texture of straw or hay and the consistency of steel wool for birds to make nests out of it.

Anywho, I could go on all day! But the "dilemma" is that Kyle met me with curly hair, and when every other guy was noticing other body parts and claiming that the first thing they notice is my eyes, he said he noticed my hair first. I believed him because he looked at my hair when he said it, not my "eyes."

Everyone always says not to change your hair for the wedding because it'll be like you're not the person your fiance fell in love with. Yeah, now, when it comes to that show Bridalplasty?

I'd have to agree.

But we're talking about the difference between the first picture and this:

Coy smile because I know how much better this looks than my curly picture above. It might not be as familiar to people as the curly haired Ashley, but it's definitely the less frizzy version, and I'm sorry people, I am not going to have a bunch of frizzy haired pictures to remember this day with.


Here's one more reason why I will not have curly wedding hair... the only acceptable hairstyle is this:

This is cute, but I don't want my hair up, I wanted it down, and that's not plausible with my hair curly. And tendrils? They happen to look OK here but 9 times out of 10 they look like jerry curl



HA! Silly. Moving on. So since I have settled on the hair being straight, I must also settle on how I'm going to wear it. Well, I've been very unoriginal thus far about the hair styles that are catching my eye right now. I know that I want it to be informal, no updos, and wavy like in my coy picture. Here's what I've come up with:

From most formal to least formal (I only like the top left updo because it's messy). I think there's just something about the waves that make any hair style look good. My favorite favorite is the middle one... could you have guessed that? Good thing is though, that on that particular woman, her hair looks thinner than mine. I'd like more body to my hair (like the bottom right) and I think I already have more body because my hair is so thick.

The best thing about all of these styles is that they do not require massive amounts of time sitting in a chair, getting thousands of pins stuck in me and whole cans of hair spray poured on me. I'm super super psyched about this and I plan on playing with my hair next time I get it straightened.

I have to take this opportunity to apologize to Kyle's mom because I know she prefers the curl. Well, another thought occurs after looking at that curly hair style: That girl looks 12... and not just because her face actually looks like a 12-year-old's. Her hair makes her look younger. The straight hair is more grown-up looking. Curly hair never looks grown-up. I've not yet reached adulthood. I enjoy acting like a kid and I think my hair gives me more reason to act like a kid. 1) It's bouncy, like a kid jumping off the walls, and 2) it continually takes me back to my childhood in the 80's, back when my hair style was thee hair style.

But for one day, I want to be a grown-up, I want to be still, and I want to look like a lady, not the little girl who ran around the church at my parents' wedding, singing with the organist (incriminating picture coming soon). Something tells me that "the hair doesn't make the woman."

More on this next time I get my hair did. Anybody have any comments, advice, questions, complaints?

Random Non-Sequitur: Backdrops

So, I should definitely be working but I was instead going through old pictures (I constantly save pictures from blog posts and then forget they're in my wedding folder) and came across some old pictures of horrible archways that I saved as anti-inspiration while looking for good archways... These images are still horrible:

 
No thank you, I don't like metal painted white, I hate the mosquito netting... there are ways to pull off this look and then ways to just make it the tackiest thing I've ever seen. This actually made me remember that it was a sight like this that turned me off one of our venues; We loved loved Morris Arboretum for the scenery and the gardens, and then we saw the ceremony sites which were complete afterthoughts. We were fortunate enough to witness a ceremony set-up and I saw a staff guy grab this horrible, white plastic, tangled mosquito net covered arch out of a box and throw it across the grass, where it landed with a pathetic thud.

My heart dropped with it. I knew we didn't have to have that arch, but nonetheless, I desperately sought out decent arches and found several that fit our theme and aesthetic:

Love this one!

And this one is also very rustic and homespun. I thought also that something like this would not be difficult to make (I know I know, there she goes again!) especially since so many blog posts where I was seeing these arbors/arches, the people posting them either made them or some normal person (not a craftsmen by trade) made them.

Anyway, before anyone begins thinking anything about too many DIYs and blah blah blah, I'm not done yet...

So, the reason I wanted an arbor/arch in the first place, was the fill a void at either of our ceremony sites:

This gorgeous sycamore tree is the backdrop for our outdoor ceremony site.

It's already a tree... it's already arboreal.

And this is the pavilion as our alternate rain/too cold ceremony site.

The pavilion is made so that the horizontal support beams actually already look like an arch.


Anyway, the point is, I don't feel that wooden arches are necessary here anymore. And I also don't feel they fit with the tree site either. I feel that those arches above are perfect for if there's nothing else behind them, like at the edge of a cliff or on a beach:

See, I told you I wasn't finished, no one has to make an arbor. As always happens though, I did find something else to DIY, something that's legitimately easy and really just exactly what I'm looking for in a backdrop:

Cut up some fabric into strips, loop them around a dowel rod.

DONE!

Here, there's a nice contrast between the dark trees and the off-white linen, the strips flutter in the breeze, it's just perfect!

But I didn't stop there, I have since found even more of these fantastic (but a little more difficult to make) backdrops:

This one is positively fabulous the way it almost looks like it's alive, but I'd have nowhere to hang it from and it's a bit big and bulky.

You know, it reminds me of the whole dress debacle: It's gorgeous and maybe my big personality can pull it off, but it's just a little too overwhelming for lil ole me, just like Diana.

A little more digging and I found the perfect solution, something right in between the first backdrop and the second:

Ta da!! Take a few layers off this one, because it's still a little big, make it narrower, and it's perfect! The different widths and lengths, it's exactly the unfinished, raw look that fits with the style of the rest of the wedding; from the dress to the invitations, to the woods and etc etc etc...

I'm super happy I found it, all I need to do is start collecting scraps of random off-white fabrics, find a dowel rod and start looping fabric strips on it.

Yay!!

The suspense is killing me

It's times like these that I think maybe I shouldn't be blogging... maybe this stuff is better left in my head.

Keri and I went to David's Bridal and I tried on the new Vera Wang White collection...

It's funny I keep doing this because Kyle doesn't read my blog as far as I know, but nonetheless:

Kyle...

Go away, for the last time

You can read anything else from this point on, but for now

Go away... Gimme a few minutes and I'll make you a sammich

People, we have an official dilemma:



Diana: She's gorgeous, she feels fantastic (the inner lining is sooooo soft and silky). She's exquisitely crafted, she's unique, she's elegant.

She's also a sample, a little rough around the edges. She's huge, I feel a little swallowed up in her. She's a lotta dress. She was expensive considering the shape she's in, which is still great, but not tip top.

I'm only having these second thoughts because I feel like I cheated myself out of my "dream dress" to save money.

But she is still the style I love, the look I love.

Can you predict where the dilemma comes from?

Does anyone care to know what White by Vera Wang dress has caused my heart to skip a beat?

Can you believe it?! The pink one! I tried it on in ivory, much better than pink. So, it doesn't have a sweetheart neckline, but was still modestly flattering to the bosom, and everything stayed in place. In pictures, the dropped waist looked too far dropped, but actually, it was perfect, elongated the torso and slimmed the waist. Also, the one thing I was most pleasantly surprised by, remember when I said the top was too plain for the skirt? Well, the top actually had a very very pleasing assymetric slope to the ruching that you can't see in any of the picutres. And this was perfect.

(sorry for no photos, but Keri and I both forgot a camera)

I don't want to gush too much, because I could go on and on, rationalizing this, weighing pros and cons, but the long and short of it is, I really think I like this dress more than the Diana...

I feel shaken even writing it out, admitting it. Maybe I like them both the same, the quality of the fabric on the David's Bridal gown was almost as good as the Diana. But I like the David's Bridal gown enough to be seriously contemplating putting the Diana up on preownedweddingdresses.com or some other classifieds site.

I think I know what some of you must be thinking, because I definitely admit that I've thought it too: Will she ever be satisfied?! I felt less stressed/nervous/desperate at David's Bridal today. I felt like I fit better into the David's Bridal gown, and I felt more at ease in it. In short, when I left the store, I didn't feel any nagging doubts anymore. The last doubt with the Diana was that it was too much dress for me, and the David's Bridal gown was more complimentary, we were the right size for each other.

Can you believe Mia was right ?!?!?! (she told me to wait on the Vera Wang dresses until I saw the David's Bridal dresses... yeah). I'm actually really ticked I didn't listen because whatever the decision ends up being, there wouldn't already be money put down.

Anyway, I'm still confident I'll be able to sell the Diana if I decide that's what's right or clean and alter her if that's what's right. But I feel like I really bungled this one... Advice??

Boleros make everything better

The title of this post does not imply what you might think. I've already mentioned that I am currently knitting a swanky shawl:

It goes a little something like this!


BUT, I saw some fabulous boleros from Anthropologie's new wedding line and was all of a sudden, kind of smitten:

So of course it made me question why I like them, because the style is not one I frequently flaunt.

Goodness, does that even make sense? I liked them, I was struck by them, but I would never wear them. I figured out that it's the weathered, sort of dragged-through-the-dirt look about them. They look almost like hand-me-downs from your great great aunt.

For some reason, I love that look. I think it has to do with everything new and sparkly being associated with sparkle, fake rhinestones, sequins, satin... all things I despise. See, I'm not a "cute" person, I like to think I'm moderately good-looking, but not in a "cute" way. I have sort of jagged features, severe if you will, and what this means... to me... is that when I wear "cute" clothes, I look like I'm trying way way too hard. My Vera dress is not cute, the raw edges make it look jagged, severe... we were made for each other.

So I like things that are also kind of jagged, unfinished, raw, kind of dirty-looking. A thought struck me, my sample dress is kinda' just like that. I am at work right now but when I get home I will take a close up picture of it to show you what I mean. It looks more like me, unkempt and dusty. Now, this makes me feel better about the dress, (but I am still going to David's Bridal tonight) but it does make it more apparent that the problem I'm having with the dress right now is that it's too big, and that makes me feel like I'm swimming in it and that it's going to make me look fat.

Well, there's just nothing I can do about that until I go to a seamstress and talk about what can be done. Maybe I find one that works miracles. The point is that I am less nervous about the fact that... for a hot minute there I thought I had made this huge, non-refundable mistake.

Next up: shoes and hair!

DIY invitation contest

I FORGOT!!

I meant to say something about this in my first post of the morning and forgot, but I recently saw a blog post about a DIY invitation contest... I know! How perfect, right? It just so happens that the one thing I've been feeling most confident about DIY-ing I then hear about a contest for!

Well, I submitted my design and it's been posted on the DIY invitations website.

I gave my invitations the name Rustic Chocolate... kinda' like Mystic Pizza or Steel Magnolias. I am such a dork and apparently a huge Julia Roberts fan! (I'm really not... at all!)

Anyway, I just wanted to put that out there. Not sure who of my lovely readers/subscribers/followers is also getting hitched, but if you are also DIY-ing and creative and would like to submit your design, you have until April 30th and the link to submit is here.

The prizes are actually really only so so, but still good, I was just really excited that someone had a contest for DIY invitations and that the point was sharing your creativity with other... not so creatively gifted brides-to-be (Not that I'm getting on my high horse; that's what they say the contest is for! You can say my stuff's not creative, I'm not judging!)

Also, I have no idea how they're picking a winner, I think they have judges, but my lovely friends and family can also rate and comment on my entry, so if you feel like it, check it out. But you don't have to, because you've actually already seen all the pictures...

kbye!

Long, boring wedding blah blah blahing

So, taking stock, where am I?

I've got this nervous excitement that I don't know what to do with. Sooo, why? I've got an appointment at David's Bridal to try on the White by Vera Wang collection this Thursday. My Mama just called last night to tell me she's got some time off in April to do some girly wedding stuff. I'm super excited about this because we're going to hit some Lancaster farm stores, a huge silk flower warehouse, and talk wedding details. I'm open-minded to seeing what might be at the silk flower warehouse; I'm not against silk flowers. Most of us have a bad taste in our mouths over silk flowers because it makes us think of the arrangements in dentists' offices and hotel lobbies. BUT #1, artfully done silk flowers do not have to be gaudy (Mia is using silk flowers for her wedding and I already saw the bouquets which delightfully surprised me), #2, if I don't love them for bouquets, bouts, etc... I might still be able to use them as accents, and #3, even if I don't end up using them, I can practice with them; see if I can put together bouquets by myself. I am also planning a trip to the Pennock flower distributor here in Philly to see what the deal is with big flower distributors.

I'm super excited to talk wedding with my mom because we haven't had much time just the two of us talking wedding stuff. I'm happy too that it's not dress stuff because I feel like in the end, she took the stance of the mom who says "whatever you want is going to be fine!" I've heard soooo many horror stories about MOB-zillas I know I should be ecstatic. But I think unfortunately, I might be one of those un-bridezillas that actually wants more MOB-zilla behavior. BUT don't get me wrong, I also didn't have one of those fantasies where I come out in a gown and both my mom and I start crying because it is just SO thee one! and both of us are 100% on it, because neither of us are at all like that. I've learned that no mother-daughter pair is exactly like any you'd see on TV. Duh. I'm not harping on it though, because I don't want to imply that I have a problem with anything. Because of course, she's a rational mother and she knows that this is my wedding and has no intention of trying to make it hers.Ah, I guess I felt that if she didn't like the dress, it would be like she didn't get to have an opinion. But that's of course not the case, and I know she knows that. But still, every time I forced her to tell me which dresses she did like, I coached myself to try to like it more. I stopped doing that though when I realized that she wouldn't want me to do that. 'Nuff said.

Anywho, the other reason I'm nervous excited is because I found out last night that Kyle is going to be in our house for a total of three days for the rest of the month :( This is the most business travel he's ever had in a stretch. He literally leaves at the beginning of the week, and then comes back for one, maybe two weekend days, then leaves again at the beginning of the next week. For all of February. This means that I have time to do wedding stuff without inundating him with all of it, but of course I'll miss him too. I'm concerned about talking too much about the White by Vera Wang stuff because at this point, he has been a part of these conversations with me. I have included him in all my dress talks because he is my best friend and I value his opinion more than most.

He accidentally found out about Vera Wang, there was no way getting away from that. He figured it out somehow... I don't remember how, but I was a little crestfallen because I wanted it to be a complete surprise... COMPLETE! But you know what he said when I confessed that (After I said "You know who Vera Wang is?" and he said "Of course, I know Vera.")? He said "She's got a unique, interesting, different style and that's exactly what I would think you'd want." And I was like 'This is why I'm marrying this man, because he gets me AND he likes what he sees!' Aside from this, as promised, he's not asked any questions, he hasn't looked at any magazines, he hasn't been the least bit curious about the dress, and of course, he stays well away from the guest bedroom where my dress is hanging. THE POINT is that I think I sensed some relief when I told him I found thee dress and that I was ready to buy it. I think some of the magic will wear off if I tell him I'm now having these second thoughts. I'm really looking forward to our first eye-lock when I'm walking down that aisle. And as ridiculous as it sounds, I want that to be magical and not exasperated.

Anyway, this is why I'm nervous excited! I've got a lot of stuff on my mind!

Oh yeah, and our tasting is at the end of this month! And I'm super excited to try our menu and see our venue again because it's been several months since I've seen it. My parents are coming too so me, Kyle, my mom and dad are all gonna' taste [hopefully] tasty food that will be served on our wedding day!

Also, I promised a music post and we are working on it, we keep adding songs here and there. We also got a chance to finish a big project at home. See, we always had these pre-fab book shelves and wanted to make a real, good bookshelf from scratch. Every year for his Christmas- New Year break, Kyle wants to take on a project. Our first Christmas, it was a DVD shelf. It works out just fine, but we didn't try as hard as we did with this bookshelf that we started last year. Well, it was a huge project, so we didn't finish it, and we just didn't have the time to finish it till, well, this past weekend! Here it is (just because you know you want to see it)!!

We deliberately kept the back unfinished because the frame is so dark. I love the contrast. This was a labor of love, ya'll! There's also not a single nail or screw anywhere it in, all glue, rabit joints, biscuits, and elbow grease!

This is what we had to fill it with:
It's more than it looks, please believe!

Bailey is there for scale.

We STILL have to use one of the small IKEA book cases. We have too many books!

Anyway, it was fun. I think all the materials and tools and time made it more expensive than buying one :) but it was totally worth it. This thing will be passed down to our great great grandchildren if I have anything to say about it!

OK, well, got to get to work!

Checklist

I have been so one note in my blogging. I have been so focused on the big things, but the small things still need to be there!

So, I've told you all a lot about the venue, the dress (ha, understatement), the invitations, the photography. I've been very hush hush about flowers, decor, cake, uhhh, etc...?

This is because of a huge internal struggle: Everyone tells me I have to start thinking about these things, making contacts, setting up meetings.

Well, I have a huge problem with the price tags on certain items, namely flowers and cake.

Let me be perfectly clear, everyone and their mother has told me not to even think about DIYing these things. But I can't help but keep coming back to how easy that particular cake would be, or how awesome it would be that I could make that bouquet ahead of time and not have to worry about wilting flowers, rushing, etc...

What I keep coming back to also is that I have scoured the internet for normal bouquets and have yet to find anything that I like! I can't pick out a single flower and say 'Yes, I like that type of flower.' The only two that are contenders right now are the ranunculus and the calla lily and I don't think either are in season during my wedding (this is not a cost issue, I really want to stay with local, organic flowers because in my opinion, out of season flowers look out of place).

 

Also, not so sure calla lilies will go with our theme, which is a little too rustic; callas are a bit too sophisticated. And ranunculus are kind of vintage. Anyway, maybe you'll say I'm being nit-picky, but you see the dilemma??? Even when I find flowers I like, I find reasons why they won't work!

So far, I like the idea of the balsa wood flowers just like in the bouquet up top, with wheat stalks, a few feathers, and for a splash of burgundy, perhaps I'll cave and get callas anyway, but I also like those silly curly ferns:

Aren't they silly looking?! But I think they also look wild-looking, as in like you picked them out in the woods. You know, rustic. You do not pick calla lilies out in the woods.

So these ideas are still formulating in my head, rolling around and getting dirty and tangled. I am so mixed up about it. Ah, I just remembered (see, I have to untangle these thoughts one by one) I also wanted to incorporate herbs in some way. I love sage and rosemary and thyme (not parsley though). And I found some great herb bouts:

(I would want to throw some color in here somehow, but otherwise, I LOVE this boutonniere*!)

*you know you're spending too much time wedding planning when you can spell boutonniere without looking it up or spell checking.

Lastly, I'd like everything wrapped with burlap and tied with twine, hello! to match the invitations and the general theme! And I think keeping burlap in a few key places but not overdoing it is really going to make the theme.

This is a good tie in, because I need some advice; I was thinking of doing a small (maybe 1'X1') swatch of burlap in the center of each table where the centerpiece sits. Is that too much? I don't have any pictures to show, I need the other parts of the centerpieces to make a mock-up. But I was thinking if I isolate burlap to these three places: the invitations, wrapping the bouquets/bouts, and under the centerpieces, it would still be tasteful and convey the theme.

Here's a pretty good representation of my first centerpiece inspiration:

Only add burlap underneath, moss on top of the burlap, and the wine bottle/table marker in place of that small candle. Simple (Kyle wants simple), rustic, and I was thinking a fiddlehead fern and two wheat stalks coming out of the wine bottle and some feathers scattered around the moss.

I know I know, it's a lot of info and it's hard to visualize without pictures! I have to see if these curly purple ferns are even possible to get my hands on, and try to get a mock up for you.



Lastly, so we don't go information overload, a very quick note on cakes. I want to reiterate that the cake up top is something I could make in an afternoon... YES, an afternoon, I have done harder cakes than that one and they took me a day. I want to impress upon everyone that I do not want frills and fancy piping all over it. I was even thinking that I would not need to cake to be that big, because we'll be having a groom's cake as well... NO ONE mention this to Kyle... and more on that later.

Anyway, I know a lot of people don't like fondant because it's just sugar paste, BUT #1, what if it was chocolate flavored, it would actually have a taste, and #2, I'm not 100% set on fondant, I love the look of a really nice decadently iced chocolate cake:

 

Ignore the flowers, I just put these up for the chocolate swirly icing. I would incorporate the balsa wood flowers just like the top cake, and possibly the fiddlehead ferns and wheat stalks. This of course would be even less work than a full on fondant cake because there's no rolling fondant, smoothing, etc etc...

The cake would then go on a wood slab like the centerpieces, moss all around it (feathers in the moss), and a swatch of burlap underneath it all. Add a couple more of those candles in the tall glass candle jars with the twine wrapped around it, and I think you've got yourself a really cohesive, rustic, warm, welcoming reception area.

Back to flowers real quick; I have no idea if I'm capable of any of this, BUT the materials are all readily available. I haven't jumped on this yet specifically because I change my mind a lot, I edit, I add, I subtract. I wanted to make sure this idea was stuck in my head for a couple months before I was assured that this was indeed the look I wanted. Now that it has been a few months, I am sure, and I can now start buying a couple materials and putting some things together. I know I've said it before and I know it's such a teaser, but I cannot WAIT to see it all put together and show you!!

Next up... HAIR!!! I can't wait to share hair ideas too!!