Monday, January 31, 2011

Blame it on Oprah!

You'll understand, how everything boils down to being Oprah's fault. This includes the fact that I'm writing about my dress again even though I said I wouldn't... that's right, blame it on Oprah!

I want to also preface this post by saying that I am not having second thoughts about the dress. Just the semi-shabbiness of the dress and the cost; in essence, it's worth... Allow me to explain:

Let's go on a journey, shall we?

Kyle, your only journey will be to some other web page that does not have pictures of my wedding dress on it.

But I still love you and we will take our own metaphorical journey together somewhere else, at some other time.


Long long ago, I fell in love with Vera Wang. Our relationship, though, seemed doomed from the start. You see, I was just too cheap for her, and she was just too much of a snob for me. I was in love with her creations. Diana:
And Erica:

Both dresses were too expensive ($7000!), until my loving fiance (who by the way, approved of my love affair with Vera) said "Just put it on my credit card" with a non-committal sort of shrug at my profuse promises to pay him back as soon as I could. It was as if he wasn't even going to miss the money once it was gone (in reality, not only does he want me to have what I want because he loves me, but he's also a firm believer that if you want it, get it; you only live once).

I was psyched but still very apprehensive about the money, because it was a ridiculous amount of money to spend on an article of clothing... I have never, and will never again wear a piece of clothing that costs $1000 an hour to wear!

All of a sudden, Oprah (seemingly) came to the rescue. She whispered in my ear that my estranged lover Vera was designing a line of dresses for David's Bridal. I'm not too proud to walk into David's Bridal, but I do have a general problem with their assembly line mentality; get in, find a random, no-name dress, take it home, leave us alone. I loved how pampered I felt at other non-chain bridal salons not because I need to be pampered, but because it made me feel like I and my possible dress were special, not just a number on the assembly line of bridal chains.

But my former love, Vera, was once again within my reach. I searched online for pictures from the new Vera Wang White collection for David's bridal. Folks, I wasn't too too impressed:

This was the best look I saw and it was blurry and pink (blegh) and I had a problem with the simplicity on top contradicting the spectacular-ness (sorry, I don't have time to consult my thesaurus) on the bottom. It was too plain on top! How can you make such a marvelous skirt and then ignore the whole bodice?!

So I went about my business convinced I would never be happy: either I would spend way way more than I was comfortable spending, or end up with a dress I wasn't happy with...

Sad sad story right?

There's more! Another (deceptive) miracle occurred shortly thereafter! I chanced a look at the Facebook page of a bridal salon that carried my beloved's creations in Maryland and they were having a sample sale the next day! I drove two and a half hours to get there and I think that the excitement ('If I don't get this, someone else will snatch it up!' 'So what if the fabric seems discolored, I'm sure dry-cleaning will fix it!' 'I drove all this way, I have to get it now!') got in the way of deliberate, firm, logical thinking.

See, it hasn't been dry-cleaned yet, so I will make my complaints brief because I know I am jumping to conclusions! It's discolored, there's a rim of other women's skin cells (eww, I know!) on the inside of the neckline. There's a small rip in the organza in the skirt, this happens, and is probably an easy fix, but still annoying. And in general, I feel like the fabric sags a little from just being a year old sample gown! I'm worried that I rushed into buying the dress of my dreams while being too cheap to really buy the dress of my dreams and ended up with a too-loved, discolored, sagging sample gown version of the dress of my dreams!

Where is all this coming from? you ask. Well, I felt and still partially feel, that I am over-dramatizing right now. I still love the one that's hanging in my house right now and I will wear it without complaint on my wedding day BUT, in the meantime, I got an e-mail today... It was a preview of the White collection that's just been announced and is now available to view on the David's Bridal website.

Oprah, you bitch. Why wasn't it made clear that there was more to the collection than you brought on your show?! She showed quite a few, I thought it was plausible that that was the whole collection! Well, it wasn't, there was one more that was thee one that could have possibly saved me $2000!

(Ignore the sash in the middle, it's extra and I wouldn't get it; it's jeweled and I don't want any fake bling)

It's a V-NECK!!! And with the SAME SKIRT AS THE DIANA!!! Slight drop waist (my favorite because too high a waist doesn't look good on me and too low a waist doesn't flatter my lack-of-hips). In short it needs to be tried on!

Also, just to add insult to injury, you remember that pink dress that looked so ick on the blurry website picture?
Looks a hell of a lot better when properly styled and well-photographed doesn't it?! (Plus I still wouldn't get it in pink)

Photographed like this, it no longer looks like there's nothing going on up top, the bodice does look interesting and this dress now becomes a must-try-on as well!!

But Wait! Haven't I already bought a dress?! Why yes, I have. Thank you, and I must reiterate again that dramatizing aside, I still love the one I have, but IF (I know, hypotheticals suck!) I try on the David's bridal dresses and IF I like them and IF a dry-clean does not accomplish the feat of making my sample dress look semi-new and IF I put it up on and get around the same price for it... got all that?... then the David's Bridal dresses cost from $1600 to $1800 LESS than the SAMPLE Vera Wang dress I currently own AND it would be a new dress.

Well I won't even ask the loaded question "What do I do?!?!" because I know the first two things I have to do regardless before which none of the other IFs matter: Get my sample gown dry-cleaned and get an appointment at David's Bridal to try on the new Vera Wang White collection! Nothing else can appease me until these two things are done.

So, that wasn't so bad a journey, I'm sure my mom is rolling her eyes. C'mon Mama! I think it's natural for second thoughts to occur, and hey, at least it's not about the style. See, I went to so many salons (5?) and tried on so many dresses (40 ish?), I think everyone thought I didn't know what I wanted. But style is not the issue, now it's price and shiny-newness...

And the fact that Oprah tricked me.

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