Well, it's made me feel a little overwhelmed (I mean, not really, I'm having too much fun, but just bear with me, I'm trying to make a point) because I'm expecting myself to do a lot of stuff by myself over the next few months.
I thought to myself 'Self, this is possibly a dumb idea, you are going to get swamped and then mess up all of it (or not finish any of it).' "Nonsense!" I said aloud- and everyone looked at me funny- "I'm awesome, and I don't need anyone."
I started feeling like it was me against the world (or in truth, me against myself, of course). I work best under pressure, and this was just another challenge that I was going to defeat. I realized though that no one is making me take everything on by myself, and that I'm the one creating the challenge. I hear lots of brides-to-be say things like "I'm having a big *insert wedding project here* party and bribing all my friends to come and help with food and booze."
Now why didn't I think of that??
Well, I did, of course, but not only do I have stupid expectations and particulars that I am certain will put everyone off, but I'm always worried I will not be able to communicate them to people and it will be all my fault that it's done incorrectly. Now, that sounds awful, I have faith in my friends/family, I'm just a really really bad delegator (I shouldn't even say that; I haven't even tried!)
The crux of all this is that I would try if my bridal party lived closer, and it makes me sad a little bit.
So this is what has been bothering me. I have a crap ton of ideas floating around in my head and some of them are poorly materialized at this point. I have nothing to dole out to anyone, the invitations are too specialized and personalized to ask for help on, and all other projects are either one man jobs or not completely conceptualized yet, so I am sorry to say I will continue not asking for anyone's help.
Please no one think it's an affront to you. I'm not asking anyone for help, so it's not just you, I promise :)
I hope to get a few more projects done this weekend and have some great pictures to show. Hope everyone has a great weekend!!
I am a bad delegator too..Its a little bit of control and a little bit of feeling bad asking people to help and take up their time doing my dirty work. But most are very happy to help if you just ask :)
ReplyDeleteI 100% know it's hard to lose that control, but sometimes you really just need to. I haven't gotten to this point yet, but I can feel it coming - lots of DIY stuff coming up! My bridesmaids also live all over the place, and it definitely does make it harder. Don't drive yourself too crazy over there!
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